I thought my nose was broken the moment I woke up. I mean, goddam... it hurt so much and last night i thought it was just... blah-wadever-i'm-hurting-you-cuz-i-have-nothing-else-to-do.. but no, my nose wasnt evil... it was swollen on the inside o_O ya, i kno.. well, i DONT know how that happened, but yeah, it did and.. and.. and... i just came back from the clinic and the doctor perscribed me four meds. one for painkiller, one for allergy, one for the swelling, and one in antibiotic. Sheesh.. couldnt they just x-ray it?! I think the doctor was like all lazy and just HAD to add the antibiotic in there... and i dont think i need painkillers.. but whatever.
eh, okay it's like 2am now. I just want to updata a bit since dA is taking such a long time. I watched akademi fantasia. i know, it sucks, it sucks. i like criticizing it and what can i do? my siblings are obsessed with it. that's the only thing i got to watch tonight! but aznil is kinda gila gila.., but he's funny and... yea, funny. . AF is really just copy-craps of american idol but it's really different a bit. it's not all slaughtering the contestants with criticism *rolls eyes* althought watching AF is almost the same thing as watching American Idol back there. dont know why i do it! I like critiquing them!
Sometimes, when things get bad, I can listen to the voices in my head. Sometimes it gets scary though, so I do all I can to shut them out.
Right now there's someone who's very angry, and someone playing an old Burger King commercial song over and over... Have it youuuuuur way, have it your way....
There is a "voice of reason"... the one who keeps saying, "Relax. You don't have to do a damn thing. You don't even have to breathe if you don't want to."
I think a lot… maybe too much, but that’s just the way I am.
Humor me.
When we’re born, immediately we are told what is what. This is a ball, this is your dinner, this is your elbow, you’re a little boy, I am your Grandma, etc. etc. This is done for a reason. The reason, although people rarely think about it, is so that we can communicate with one another. I think that, over time, the original purpose for language has been convoluted. Language has become not only a means by which people can communicate, but also a tool to persecute and pigeonhole people. Like Burroughs once said, "Language is a virus…". ...It mutates... spreads... What started out as something positive has also become a means to harm one another, and a way to teach our children what it is safe to think... something negative. Some call it giving children morals, others call it brainwashing. It depends on your perspective… and on your definitions for the words "morals" and "brainwashing".
When I tell my niece that a cup is a cup, I’m not telling her that it’s a cup because everyone on the planet agrees that it’s a cup and that she too should believe that it’s a cup because if she doesn‘t she‘s wrong.. I tell her it’s a cup because that way if she’s thirsty and wants her juice she can tell me that her cup is empty. Whether or not the object I’m referring to is actually a cup is for her to determine, I’m just telling her how to speak my language so that she can get what she wants from me. This will make us both happy. If, later on, while playing with that cup, she starts calling it a doll’s swimming pool, I don’t tell her it’s not. As long as when she wants something from me she knows how to ask for it, that’s all that matters.
The worst of the problems seem to happen when one person refuses to speak the language of another, knowing full well that refusal will cause insult. At that point, language is no longer used for the positive purpose of communication in order to make both parties happy, and it becomes a way to spit on someone without wasting water. For example, I say I’m an alien, and take pride in that fact. You meet me and refuse to address me as such. You say to me and about me that I’m not an alien, just a messed up human. What you are actually doing is insulting me and judging me. You’re taking the words of others and giving them priority over mine. I don’t care that a doctor will say I’m human… in my book I’m an alien, and I’ve made it clear that in order to make me happy and in order to communicate with you I wish to be addressed as such. Your inflicting your language on me makes me unhappy and breaks down communication. Would it harm you to call me an alien? Really? Even if you really think that I’m an insane human according to your language, by refusing to honor me you have just become disrespectful (or the equivalent) in many languages.
I think that a lot of the problem is that a person has a definition in their head of what something is, and when another person claims to be that thing, they immediately attach that definition, not realizing that their definition may not match the definition of the other. Instead of pronouncing someone "not" a thing, why not ask what that means to the other person instead of risking insult? In most cases, you’re not dealing with a child who has no language. It’s not for you to educate them any more than it is for them to educate you. What works is for the two parties to work together and find a happy medium, otherwise there’s not going to be any communication, just word hurling, insults, hurt feelings, and nothing gained. Language turns into weapon.
Is it that you doubt that a person is what they say they are, or is it that you really haven’t taken the time to figure out just what they’re claiming to be? Is it that you fear that you are like them? Is it that you need to step on them to make yourself taller? Is it that you can’t give them credit or that you can’t give yourself license to continue developing your own language past the point where your educators left off?
To doubt what a person says is to doubt a person. To doubt a person is to not trust them. What is it you fear?
enough ramblings for today.
Back to be who i really am = a very proud pahangnan(although ive always been told that the claim that ive made is not appropriate as i was being born in terengganu)..proud to be pahangnan..in precise...LIPISAN.
Zie, koi tak sengaja tertinggal nama aok dalam catatan sebelum ini. Bukan sengaja ok. Maka dengan itu, terimalah nama aok yang diulangi sebanyak 3 kali.. ZIE, ZIE, ZIE. Perlu ke aok bawak balik durian ke ad ok. Tidak,,biarkan dia kebulur. Ad, koi mendapat pesan daripada patin supaya aok jangan suka mengganggu orang terutama apabila mereka sedang makan. Tidak perlu ok. Dahlah kena kutuk dengan pak cik sirah utara. Wahaha...oklah..banyak lagi sebenarnya nak taip tapi dah letih sangat dah. Sambung esok
Till then, be nice to each other.
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